17.89 or "How'd you just think of that?"

I am not a huge history buff.

And please realize that every one of these posts requires me to google a year in order to find out what happened.

That being the case I still try to impress people by knowing things that happen in the year 1789 when I have just paid $17.89 for two giant sandwiches, a whole mess of fries, and a greasy little sack of deep fried cheese curds.

The blocky green display glowered out the numbers 17.89 signifying I should take out my debit card and hand it to the lady on the other side of the Burger Time food window. Then a magical transaction would happen and hopefully that same amount of virtual beans would be deducted from my pile of virtual beans in my bank account somewhere on the other end of that telephone line the credit card machine was hooked to. See, I'm a simple guy, and the fact that I never actually see "real" money anymore mildly terrifies me. But anyway due to this simple-old-fashioned kind of attitude Brett and I actually went INSIDE at Burger Time, something I didn't even know was possible 2 years ago. As I pondered the fact that right now a new line was being added to my online banking statement that let me know that apparently my life is worth some sum total of currency I looked up at 17.89 and popped right off. "1789, that's the year the U.S. Constitution was ratified."

Brett looked at me in slack jawed wonder and said "How'd you just think of that?"

"How'd you just think of that?"

--------->IMPORTANT!!!!!<-----------

This was absolutely incorrect! The U.S. Constitution was ratified June 21st, 1788!!!!!!

I then took a second to personally plug my blog which, when I asked if he'd ever read it the only response was an audible grunt of a scoff. 

Which I suppose I deserve in light of the fact that I totally blew my first actual opportunity for a real world application of this skill I'm working on acquiring. However, I like to think that if I had some sort of wise spirit guide named "Chippewa Pete" or something who could visit me and give me advice no one else could hear Chippewa Pete would tell me "Hey, you were only a couple months off big guy. It could be a whole lot worse."

Well now, let's look at what actually happened in 1789 Courtesy of Wolfram|Alpha (The real SkyNet):

So, hey! It went into effect that year! However, I was totally thinking of the Bill of Rights.

Now, Wolfy doesn't really give much thought to other countries besides the U.S. there's one little note about France which is funny because the one thing they ought to say about France is

The storming of the Bastille! Which started a little thing called the French Revolution.

There were two pretty cool little babes born that year. One was James Fenimore Cooper, unfortunately he died in 1851 so he probably never knew how totally badass Daniel Day-Lewis was in "The Last of the Mohicans" and the little german dude who went on to come up with Ohm's Law.

Also, Wikipedia believes that Thomas Jefferson brought the first macaroni machine to ever grace american soil back home that year. Huh. Neat. I have no idea whether or not this is actually true, but it's stated with such certainty that who could doubt it upon initially hearing it? I didn't. And so, I guess that's something. A year comes up and I can just say whatever I want. It might be right or it might be wrong but if it's asinine enough who's going to bother to check? After all, Brett'd never even heard of this blog before and he's featured in it now.

P.S. I'm totally going to post this on his timeline.

P.P.S. Writing that last post-script made me feel really uncomfortable. Just thought you should know.

1.23.12 Exciting Day, 1017 Boring Year

What's today?

123. January 23rd twothousandtwelve. 

The reopening of Ebeneezer's. Boom. Shaka. Laka.

Can't you just sense their excitement?

But for real now.

I woke up this morning without a thought in my head. As I was grinding some coffee beans wondering if I'd wake up the band from Syracuse that were sleeping on Teddy's fold out couch. I then hear a stumbling and a rumbling coming from the floor above. It was the kind of noise I usually hear when I've woken up the dog in the morning and he's coming down to see just what the hell all the fuss is about. But I realized that Teddy was mounting a semi-non-violent insurrection for control of the couch in the living room.

So I was only a little surprised when it was Billy who came bounding down the steps. We quickly got on to the subject of breakfast. Billy informed me Jake had received a bit of a premonition the night before about me hitting him up for Ebeneezer's in the morning. Two things you should know here: 1. Jake and I are great boys for getting breakfast. 2. Ebeneezer's is open again TODAY! After being shut down for an eternity after the flood. Not wanting to let him down I promptly rescheduled my day and started pounding on his bedroom door.

We rode on pins and needles all the way to Ebeneezer's. Will it be open? If it is, will we get a place to sit? Will they still know how to make a 'Beneez Burger? A Fat Frog?

As you can see our fears were totally dispelled. The food was delicious, the environment was shiny and new but still felt like home. A 'Beneez Burger with chips and a Pepsi costs $10.17. Awesome!

Now, for the year 1017 AD. Boring.

Seriously.

Here's the entire wikipedia article.

So, now I should be nice. Canute, Acclaimed king of England apparently became "Acclaimed" that year and got married. I do not know if they threw rice or porridge at the wedding. Wikipedia doesn't say.

Kiev burned. So probably not to boring for Kiev-ites. Also, they started building a big church.

In Africa Sunnis (like Teddy for the sofa) revolted against some Shi'ites. Some things never change.

In short, Ebeneezer's is back. Go there now. Tip your waitress. Go Minot!